What can I say, I just admire you...

It's not always easy now. Raising you, being the stubborn child you are...teaching Hindi and Malayalam is the most stressful thing. And we fight and fight. I should say it's hectic.

But there are some times when I just adore the free spirited soul that you are. Enjoying every moment of this life. I understand sitting on a chair and studying/ mugging up something is not something you want. You are a restless soul. Sometimes how we should raise you up. to which direction we should steer you, arts or sports or anything, it's all such a mystery to us. But even if we want to steer, it's not possible. You are so rebellious that we can't say anything. It gets really frustrating sometimes negotiating things with you. But I will just say few other things now. 

You see me sick these days...a lot sick with the travel and all...and I visit hospitals, have tests and at one time we were discussing about kidney related things and you from my lap said, " don't be rip mamma. You can dye if you want, but you can't die." The way you use vocabulary, the way you emote situations sometimes...I sometimes feel u will be so good at stand up comedies or something like that. You are quite imaginative. When you got Barbie, and I found her in a plastic box full of water with two toy fishes and when I asked, u saying that's Barbie in her jaccusi tub. I get it that you are quite imaginative. You read stories to me. You want me to watch tv with you. I get it that you are not getting enough of me. I get it child that you want to share your life with me. I get it when you say you will live with your husband and daughter at our home, but with mamma and dadda, just like we now live with achachan and അച്ഛമ്മ...I get it that you don't know nothin abt future. but u still want us to be part of it...even after having all these arguments and fight. I get it dearest that you love me so much...and that makes my life worth living and celebrating...when you read this, search for my love song by sreenath bhasi...when you have heard that song, you loved it so much and we were singing that to each other.. I realise that am your love for now. I appreciate it. I appreciate it that you snuggle so close to me every night leaving three quarter of bed vacant...I feel suffocated so much that sometimes I need space...but then I realise these are all the precious times for which my heart will definitely yearn for in future when we will experience the empty nest syndrome...

I realise am grateful for you ...

Love you lots...amma.